Unless you understand how compound interest works, you'll forever be puzzled by grief!
Here’s what I mean. When it comes to financial wealth. There's at least two ways to grow wealthy.
You have an inheritance or a lump sum dropped on you. You're poor one day, and you have millions in the bank the next day. You're RICH!
You learn to take advantage of compound interest.
For instance, you put $1,000 in the bank when you're born. And then deposit $100 every week for a few decades. And then…Voila!! By the time you're 30, even though there hasn't been any lump sum dropped, the interest of those small consistent deposits has made you rich in wealth.
Grief works the same way.
You can lose a loved one (A HUGE LUMP SUM PAYMENT)
Or…you can grow up on the south side of Chicago & live life with the small traumatic deposits of funerals with kid-sized caskets, so regular, that by the time that you're 30, you find yourself very rich in grief, even though both of your parents are still living.
Grief's buildup isn't about lump sum payments of CATASTROPHE as much as it is small traumatic deposits that are as CONSISTENT as the sunrise.
If that makes you feel sad (which it should), here’s the good news.
THAT TRUTH WORKS IN REVERSE.
HEALING isn't about ONE HUGE CORRECTIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE, but a bunch of smaller more consistent ones.
A hug when you’ve expressed that you’re not okay and don’t know why.
A friend who's learned that shoulders catch tears better than soliloquies.
An Uber Eats gift card when you’re too emotionally spent to cook dinner for your kids
It’s the little things.
The little things make the biggest difference.
You have everything you need at your disposal to help someone shoulder their grief.
One small deposit at a time.
Love this! Over the last few years I think about what are the daily, small things I can do to "catch my breath" after becoming a parent during the pandemic and dealing with a lot of loss. What you wrote deeply resonates with me!