What happens when grief is too complicated to say out loud?
In Part 2 of Grief is a Language™ conversation with Dave, Rich Perez, and James Roberson, they explore grief as a written language and how putting words on a page can help us understand what we’re feeling, preserve the people and stories we’ve lost, and leave something behind for the generations that come after us.
From Rich discovering the letters his son writes to a grandmother he never met, to John writing directly to his brother Sam ten years after his death, the conversation explores why the page can sometimes hold what conversation cannot. They also unpack intergenerational grief, the stories families never tell, and why both the raw emotion of the moment and the clarity that comes with time deserve to be recorded.
KEY POINTS
00:00 – How writing helps us slow down and process grief
06:32 – Using writing to make sense of difficult emotions
09:32 – How grief can become creative expression
14:02 – Writing as a path to emotional clarity
17:10 – Letters that preserve connection across loss
19:55 – Why writing can hold what’s hard to say
22:34 – John writing to Sam 10 years after his death
30:53 – Writing as an emotional heirloom
39:51 – Generational grief and family silence
54:23 – How time can bring clarity to grief
QUOTES
“Writing was not the goal for me. Clarity was, and I think that I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.” – Rich Perez
“I would say write it when you feel it. Whether it's the immediacy of it, or 10 years down the line... some stuff might get mumbled up. It might not be what it needs to be, but I feel like if you if you spend time with it, you'll go, ‘Oh, I see what this meant,’ and I can apply it to what's going on in in my life later.” – Dave
“In the heat of the moment, you're not meant to have the clarity that you're gonna have… Don't put that pressure on yourself.” – John Onwuchekwa
“It does seem like every generation has found a way to communicate their hope... There's nothing like listening to someone sing through their pain. And so, I think what we were left with wasn't stories. We were left with songs.” – James Roberson
RESOURCES:
John Onwuchekwa
Website | johno.co
IG | @jawn_o
Grief is a Language™ is produced by EPYC Media Network
