On Grief, but first....coffee
What drinking my coffee black, taught me about processing grief
Let’s talk about grief…but first coffee.
Most people avoid processing their grief for the same reasons they stay away from black coffee. All they can think about is the bitterness. And they want to run away from it as fast as they can.
So the first thing they’ll do is add a bunch of cream, milk, sugar, honey, etc. at which point they’ve done more than erase coffee’s bitterness. They’ve essentially drowned the coffee in a sea of additives. In their (or your…depending on how to you take your coffee) attempt to mask the bitterness, you’ve only (1) made a zero calorie drink unhealthy and (2) robbed yourself of the subtle sweetnesses that lie on the back end.
Listen, black coffee is bitter. We’ve got to OWN that.
But black coffee isn’t ONLY bitter.
The more that you lean in to it, the more you find there are subtle sweetnesses on the back end that you don’t get if you spend all your time trying to mask it.
Grief is the same way. Grief is bitter, it’s a fog in the road and there are no alternate routes around it. We’ve got to OWN that.
But…it’s not ONLY bitter.
If we would OWN the bitterness, and stop trying to mask it by drowning it with sex, and accomplishments, and achievements, and busyness, and promotions, and Netflix, and all types of other distractions and instead lean into it—you’ll find there are sweetnesses on the back end that you’ll only taste, if you drink it black.
Coffee’s bitter. Grief is bitter. Both…can be bittersweet.
Authors note: For further engagement with coffee, grief, hope, and moving forward. Check us out at a city near you this fall! Find out more info @ johno.co/events
Just wanted to know exactly where you're going to be when you come to Dallas. Have the BEST day that you can!!!
Love the comparison. I only drink my coffee black, yet I’ve masked grief with accomplishments and busyness.
Scooped my tickets for the Dallas convo! Looking forward to seeing my Concord brother Trip too!