I never thought of grief itself showing up as a body language. That's such a thought. I had a moment where I was anxious yet conscious enough to ask the question why and wondered if it showed up in my body language, wondering if my body was telling on me what's going on internally.
I never thought about grief having that same sort of display. I been sad alot lately myself and it have slipped my mind that grief exists. I'm still new to the language. But the concept that grief can effect you to the point of showing up in your body language is so baffling to me.
Beautiful. And to be grateful for so badly hiding your grief is a stunning and hopefully on some level a comforting revelation. Because allowing can also be a new reflex. Thank you
I pray for none stop hugs in your life right now. I understand my/this type of grief through your sharing/teaching all too well. Thank you …. I think understanding my triggers is somehow my long road back. Much love is sent your way. God will keep you. Remember this:
I hear you John. I am only - and part of me laughs to write that - at almost six years since my husband, my Beloved, died beside me in the car as I drove him to ER. His birthday precedes his thanoversary by nearly three weeks. Spring always holds the unexpected rush of tears, that - as you said, are not as intrusive. Nevertheless, they are there. And yes, the body will not be denied expression. I am grateful for your honest sharing of what we usually, after a time (never quite sure what that is), are expected to clean up for public consumption. It IS still messy at times. And the fact is, we become more familiar with our grief and how it affects us. The whole ‘acceptance’ idea places an expectation on us that once we’ve accepted it, we won’t be affected by it. So all the undercurrents, the ones that circulate our losses through us, keep changing the internal landscape. Same way water carves out the land. By speaking to the real that you are living, you give us all grace to name the truths that are alive in us, even when the majority of people would prefer us to keep it under lock and key. I’m glad you have people to hold you when that is the language you need most to move with the current.
Just lost my dad 6 weeks ago… and while it’s sad to see that one can still feel such deep grief 10 years later, it’s oddly comforting as well. To know that it’s normal to feel this way 10 years later, gives me permission to feel love, joy, and sadness for my dad until I draw my own last breath. I know this because Jesus was well acquainted with grief. Before He brought Lazarus back from the dead, He wept for him. I think we as a society have a serious misconception of grief and how to handle it. There’s so much more that I can say but I just want to really thank you. Your posts and your work have really helped me through such a dark time in my life. Keep writing. Thank you.
I truly enjoyed this post and found it deeply relatable. The road signs you describe—the ones we pass without warning that awaken emotions we thought were long buried—resonated with me profoundly.
I experience a visceral body response whenever I see a Walmart truck on the road. My father was a trucker, and regardless of the complexities of our relationship, I remain deeply proud of him. He wore his Walmart uniform with pride, and that pride still lives in me. Even today, the scent of Old Spice in an elevator with older gentlemen can instantly transport me back to him.
I am very much looking forward to having you on our upcoming Senior Scoop podcast on January 30. I would love to explore the topic of grief triggers—particularly the loss of a loved one—and how the body holds onto what the mind may not have fully processed. In our work with seniors, we see this often, especially among those who have endured the unimaginable loss of a child. The way the body becomes “stuck,” and how body language quietly signals unresolved grief, is something we must be attuned to as professionals.
Thank you for writing and speaking so thoughtfully on this subject. I also watched your interview on Godmother’s, which had a profound impact on me and deepened my awareness of my own unconscious body responses around grief related to my father—responses I realize I may not have fully processed.
So many triggers. thank you for naming it.
I never thought of grief itself showing up as a body language. That's such a thought. I had a moment where I was anxious yet conscious enough to ask the question why and wondered if it showed up in my body language, wondering if my body was telling on me what's going on internally.
I never thought about grief having that same sort of display. I been sad alot lately myself and it have slipped my mind that grief exists. I'm still new to the language. But the concept that grief can effect you to the point of showing up in your body language is so baffling to me.
Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing, John. Love you.
Beautiful. And to be grateful for so badly hiding your grief is a stunning and hopefully on some level a comforting revelation. Because allowing can also be a new reflex. Thank you
Here breathing with you. It *is* sad John Onwuchekwa.
Powerful
Thanks sis!
❤️
Appreciate you tapping in Ruth
I pray for none stop hugs in your life right now. I understand my/this type of grief through your sharing/teaching all too well. Thank you …. I think understanding my triggers is somehow my long road back. Much love is sent your way. God will keep you. Remember this:
he (John) believed
that He (God) would
so He (God)did.
God will keep you…. I believe.
I receive all of the love Katobwa!
I hear you John. I am only - and part of me laughs to write that - at almost six years since my husband, my Beloved, died beside me in the car as I drove him to ER. His birthday precedes his thanoversary by nearly three weeks. Spring always holds the unexpected rush of tears, that - as you said, are not as intrusive. Nevertheless, they are there. And yes, the body will not be denied expression. I am grateful for your honest sharing of what we usually, after a time (never quite sure what that is), are expected to clean up for public consumption. It IS still messy at times. And the fact is, we become more familiar with our grief and how it affects us. The whole ‘acceptance’ idea places an expectation on us that once we’ve accepted it, we won’t be affected by it. So all the undercurrents, the ones that circulate our losses through us, keep changing the internal landscape. Same way water carves out the land. By speaking to the real that you are living, you give us all grace to name the truths that are alive in us, even when the majority of people would prefer us to keep it under lock and key. I’m glad you have people to hold you when that is the language you need most to move with the current.
Patti, this is so beautiful. Thanks for allowing me the space to process out loud, and for taking so much time and effort to do the same.
Just lost my dad 6 weeks ago… and while it’s sad to see that one can still feel such deep grief 10 years later, it’s oddly comforting as well. To know that it’s normal to feel this way 10 years later, gives me permission to feel love, joy, and sadness for my dad until I draw my own last breath. I know this because Jesus was well acquainted with grief. Before He brought Lazarus back from the dead, He wept for him. I think we as a society have a serious misconception of grief and how to handle it. There’s so much more that I can say but I just want to really thank you. Your posts and your work have really helped me through such a dark time in my life. Keep writing. Thank you.
Peace and perturbation… the coexistence of these two rhythms while listening to the sound of your heart.
The volume turns up and down when it wants… reflexes you call them.
Maybe I’ll just let them play out. Maybe just maybe (one day) gratitude will catch up with the melody.
Thank you, John.
John,
I truly enjoyed this post and found it deeply relatable. The road signs you describe—the ones we pass without warning that awaken emotions we thought were long buried—resonated with me profoundly.
I experience a visceral body response whenever I see a Walmart truck on the road. My father was a trucker, and regardless of the complexities of our relationship, I remain deeply proud of him. He wore his Walmart uniform with pride, and that pride still lives in me. Even today, the scent of Old Spice in an elevator with older gentlemen can instantly transport me back to him.
I am very much looking forward to having you on our upcoming Senior Scoop podcast on January 30. I would love to explore the topic of grief triggers—particularly the loss of a loved one—and how the body holds onto what the mind may not have fully processed. In our work with seniors, we see this often, especially among those who have endured the unimaginable loss of a child. The way the body becomes “stuck,” and how body language quietly signals unresolved grief, is something we must be attuned to as professionals.
Thank you for writing and speaking so thoughtfully on this subject. I also watched your interview on Godmother’s, which had a profound impact on me and deepened my awareness of my own unconscious body responses around grief related to my father—responses I realize I may not have fully processed.
Warm regards,
Deborah Samuel
Author | Realtor | Teacher | Friend
The Senior Scoop
Santa Barbara, CA
I’m struggling a lot with the lost of my daughter. Reading you makes me seen 😭😭
I so needed this. A great read
🙏🙏🙏 I see u. 🙏🙏🙏