Let Him Cook

My Problem with Premature Judgement

I hate mayonaise.

I always have. I imagine I always will.

However, I love Tuna Fish sandwiches.

I always have. I imagine I always will.

But up until marriage, I never knew how tuna fish was made (I went to public school).

Let me set the scene: it’s 2011. Shawndra and I are in the kitchen at our first house in Atlanta, and she’s about to shake up my entire world. Maybe I’m being a bit extra, but just follow me.

I’m watching Shawn put a big glass mixing bowl on the counter. The tuna fish packet comes out. (Yeah, packet. We don’t mess with the canned tuna in the Onwuchekwa household. We’re not the biggest fans of our tuna swimming in the tuna fish juices at the bottom.) Now she’s bringing out green onions and celery. Next is the salt and pepper. Crackers for her, bread for me. I’m salivating cause we’re getting close. She’s reaching for those all-important secret ingredients: [redacted], [redacted], and the most necessary, the one thing you really can’t do without, [redacted]. Perfect. Then, for reasons beyond my comprehension, Shawn takes out the mayo.

MAYO!?

I tried to stop her. I tried with everything in me. I hoped to lasso her hands together and stop her in her tracks with strings of babypleasebabypleasebabyplease, fearful she was about to ruin a good thing.

Her face curls into a question mark that I interpret as, My guy…when did you become Top Chef? Chill!!!

She explained that what I viewed as BAD and would rather avoid (mayo), was absolutely NECESSARY if she was going to make the dish that I enjoy (tuna fish). She went on and said, it's okay to not like mayo ALONE...not many people do. It's like a holiday ham, it's not meant to be consumed WITH SOMETHING ELSE (like turkey).

I was evaluating mayo a GOOD/BAD scale. She was evaluating mayo on the scale of NECESSARY/UNNECESSARY.

I often do the same thing to God as He's in the kitchen mixing up the ingredients of life events.

I stand over His shoulder nitpicking the things He allows into the bowl. Death, infertility, heartache, depression. I taste the unfinished batter and make harsh judgments on the flavor of the cake He's making. When He's finished cooking, I've been reminded that He's an excellent Chef. Taking things I view as garbage and making impeccable dishes.

He's not prone to burning or overcooking. He's truly made everything beautiful in its time. He's used so many BAD ingredients (infertility, death, heartache, slander, interactions with grown men that are absolute CLOWNS, etc. ) and showed their necessity in the dish He's making

"He has made everything appropriately beautiful in its time" - Ecclesiastes 3:11

Let Him cook y'all.

Wait til He's finished before you evaluate His work!

He's not finished with you yet!

Peace.

---

Day 12 of 30 Days of Hope

---

For more on Grief, Hope and Storytelling that bridges the gap between the two, you might enjoy my latest book We Go On: Finding Purpose in All of Life’s Sorrows and Joys