In this episode of Grief Is A Language, John Onwuchekwa sits down with Tembi Locke for a beautiful conversation about grief, language, memory, writing, love, and the slow work of turning loss into something that can hold meaning.
Together, they explore why grief is not something to rush, fix, or “move on” from, but something we learn to speak with more honesty, patience, and tenderness. Tembi reflects on writing through the loss of her husband, the loneliness of not having words for grief, the friends who could and could not meet her in it, and how memoir became a way to reclaim a painful story with beauty and care.
“Grief was my first time where I had no words.” – Tembi Locke
This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt silenced by loss, rushed toward hope, or unsure how to explain the ache living inside their body. It is a reminder that grief has its own language, its own timeline, and sometimes, its own kind of beauty.
KEY POINTS
- Grief often begins where language ends.
- Tembi shares how writing helped her “alchemize” grief into meaning.
- John explains why grief is not a journey with an ending…
- They unpack why rushing people toward hope can do more harm than good.
- Tembi reflects on losing friends who could not understand the pace of her grief.
- Grief has a body language, heart language, and silence.
- Memoir becomes a way to reclaim trauma, memory, love, and identity.
- Beauty can make grief less frightening to approach.
- Healing often requires patience, precision, boundaries, and permission to move slowly.
QUOTES
“I was writing to better understand my own experience.” – Tembi Locke
“If we don't have language for grief, we kind of don't know what we're doing.” – Tembi Locke
“Grief is a language aimed at connection.” – John Onwuchekwa
“I've got to befriend and get to know this thing that is now a part of my path.” – Tembi Locke
“The problem with both grievers and comforters is that we live in a world that is very impatient when it comes to our grief.” – John Onwuchekwa
RESOURCES:
Tembi Locke
Website | tembi.io
John Onwuchekwa
Website | johno.co
IG | @jawn_o
Grief Is A Language is produced by EPYC Media Network
